I grew up in church and I knew that God was good, but it was almost like he had ceased to be good to me. I couldn’t figure out why I had that sense of loneliness, that sense of disappointment.
I started looking at guys to fulfill that need – to tell me that I was loved. It made me feel good to an extent, but it never truly satisfied. I trusted a guy who was not very trustworthy. He was physically rough, which I had never experienced before, but I felt kind of paralyzed. He shoved me into a wall. And the next violent act was rape.
To me, that act solidified my beliefs about who I was and what I was worth. I tried some things to heal. I saw a secular counselor. It wasn’t until I found a Scripture … reading those Scriptures helped turn things around. I learned that I did not deserve to be treated that way. I started to see that I was worth a little bit more than what I had thought.
I am just so relieved to see that God never wastes the things that we experience. He never wastes a tear; He never wastes a hurt that we experience. I try to encourage others to seek biblical help and begin learning again, because trusting God is a process.