Dating: Free Download

The Waiting Game

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Quick Reference Guide on Dating

In the movie version of Snow White, the beautiful young woman sings what is longed for in every girl’s heart.

Some day my prince will come,
Some day I’ll find my love,
And how thrilling that moment will be,
When the prince of my dreams comes to me . . . .

But how does she find the love of her life? And how does a prince of a man find his love? In the fairy tale, it’s a waiting game for both of them. If you are playing the waiting game right now, be patient. Wait for God’s choice of a date who—by God’s design—might become your mate.

“I wait for you, O Lord; you will answer, O Lord my God.”
(Psalm 38:15)

What Is God’s Purpose for Dating?

Nowhere in the Bible does God say that we—His carefully planned creations—are to live our lives isolated from one another. In fact, after creating Adam, the Lord God said,

“It is not good for the man to be alone.”
(Genesis 2:18)

Then God created Eve for Adam to marry. But how do you know if you have found the right person to date? And what’s more, how do you become the right person to date? You might find it helpful to know some of the beneficial opportunities in dating.

Through dating, you have the opportunity . . . 1) to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex, 2) to help define what traits you desire in a future mate, 3) to come into contact with potential marriage partners, and 4) to grow socially, emotionally and spiritually.

The Distorted Progression of Dating

Everyone loves the word love. Titles of books that contain this word automatically guarantee increased sales. The same is true for song titles. While the English language only has one word for love, the Greek language has multiple words, but with multiple meanings.

In today’s world, most dating starts with eros: passionate or emotional love that comes and goes. (Some couples never get beyond eros.) The dating relationship might then move to a second love labeled phileo: affectionate love based on genuinely liking the other person—friendship. And the third love is agape: unconditional love that seeks what is in the best interest of the other person. Unfortunately, this order is all wrong. All relationships, dating and otherwise, should begin with agape, which means we seek the other’s highest good. If you commit to follow the progression God has planned for a meaningful dating relationship, you will not be led astray. God gives us this specific warning to show what happens when inappropriate sexual passion is the priority.

“He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.”
(Proverbs 5:23)

Q “My live-in boyfriend says he loves me, but just isn’t ready to marry. How can I encourage him to marry?”

If your boyfriend can sexually “have his cake and eat it too,” where is his motivation for marriage? Don’t do the sexual acts of love outside of marriage or you will minimize the essence of love. According to the Word of God, neither of you is truly showing love to each other. Begin now by having him move out. If he really loves you, he will want you (not just sex) and will be willing to wait until after the wedding.

“Love is patient.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Related topic: Sexual Integrity

Further reading:

We encourage you to read our Biblical Counseling Keys on Dating to learn:

• Do’s and Don’ts for Dating
• Guidelines for Finding the Right Date and Mate
• Godly Characteristics to Look for in Dating
• Destructive Attitudes in Dating and Destructive Dating Patterns
• How to Stop Harmful Dating Habits
• How to Prioritize Purity in Dating and trusting in God’s Timing